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Lost and Found by Greg Olsen

Lost and Found by Greg Olsen—This image is copyrighted and was found here

Recently, life has been throwing curve balls like crazy. I have really been trying to figure out which way is up and down and left and right. I have had so many people tell me so many things. With different opinions about what is right and what is wrong. The media has been full of so much hate and no compassion. The recent rulings in Arizona  (article here) have made my heart for my LGBT brothers and sisters. And I have still been trying to sort out how I have felt about the SB 100 bill not passing in Utah along with all of the commotion about Same-Sex Marriage in Utah.

December was crazy for me trying to sort through the pain and frustration that came when my friends asked me to sign petitions on facebook supporting Phil Robertson from ‘Duck Dynasty’ along with the excitement that came from Same Sex Marriage being Legal for a few weeks in Utah. I felt torn. I was hurting for those who felt that they were having their rights being taken from them for that being set in place, and I hurt for those that felt like the LGBT community was trying to ruin their families, to ruin their values and morals. I also hurt from the things that were said to me justifying Phil Robertson’s behavior using logic that was flawed saying he was entitled to have and share his opinion without any consequences.  There are always consequences for actions— no one is exempt from that. But with these emotional turmoiling things that have been happening my opinion has become clear. Everything should be about love.

It is my responsibility to respect the opinions and actions of others because I have the responsibility to love one another. I have the responsibility to not judge others or condemn them, but to love and have compassion and strive for understanding even through i may disagree.  The Savior taught us to love one another and to help the needy, to mourn with those that mourn, and to comfort those that need comfort, this love is not dependent on anything we do or anything we are, we recieve His love simply because we are His brothers and sisters. We receive Gods love simply because He made us. What we do has nothing to do with the amount of love that they have for us. The Savior also had expectations and he gave us responsibility and accountability for our actions but He ALWAYS acted out of love. The only time I recollect the Savior acting out in what appears to be anger was toward those who were abusing the space in the Temple.

As accounted in Matthew 21:12-13 :

12 ¶And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,

 13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer ; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

But even this is not an account of what I believe has been portrayed as anger. He acted out of love for His Father and His Fathers House. He acted out of love. He calls us to act out of love. Being a loving person for me is really about following and understanding truth.

Anthropology teaches the importance of relative truth and absolute truth. While a truth maybe absolute for one it may not be absolute for another. Now I am not saying that there are no absolute truths… Newtons Laws of Physics, or gravity  for example is something I qualify as an absolute truth…culture and understanding cannot deny that when you drop an object on earth it will fall to the ground. An absolute truth that resonates with me, is the fact the I have a Heavenly Father who loves me just the way I am, as a Lesbian. Also that I know that I must be true to all parts of who I am, LDS and Lesbian. But that does not mean that everyone will hold the same truth(s) to be absolute.

It is my responsibility to seek out truths for me and to help others in their journey of truth seeking without judgement, without bias, without taking away their capability to choose what feels and is right for them. I have really been learning that love must come first when helping others find their truths, particularly as I have looked at some of my last few years experience in retrospect. When I was first trying to sort of whither it was a possibility to stay a member of the church and also identify and be true to being a lesbian I asked everyone that I talked to about it what I should choose, or how they figured it out. I asked dozens of questions, but no one would give me any answer but something along these lines: You must find the path that God wants you to find. There is a way to be true to all parts of who you are…it takes time and effort, and faith. But don’t give up and believe in yourself and you will find a way.

I got really mad and upset after many people told me that answer I wanted a plan that I could see. I wanted the path to be clear. But I have really learned that no one…NO ONE…has a clear plan. Life happens to everyone. Plans are made and they change. We experience lose and sacrifice because the plan is different than what appears to be happening around us. But we rarely know the details of the lives that surround us, w rarely know that their life did not go as planned. But the response I have always received has been one of love and support. They have all encouraged me to seek my own truth with their support and love and compassion.

So how do we find a plan?

We put one foot in front of the other following the things that resonate as truths to us in our hearts and minds, because the spirit speaks to us in our hearts and in our minds. We try to ask the hard questions we ask, we try while we may falter and fall, we find a way to get back through the strength of others or through the strength we eventually find in ourselves. But we seek and eventually the path is made a little clearer.  We must fight for our path for ourselves. We must fight for our happiness, and even though we may hate that no one around us can tell us the way, we can find a way. We have the capability to choose the way we want to go. We thankfully have the capability to choose and follow what is right for us what is true for us.  And we we have the opportunity to offer unconditional love and support to the world around us without judgement without the need to control others. For that is really the blessing of mortality the capability to choose without being controlled or forced to do what others might think is best for you. We have the capability to know from the spirit, the scriptures and even the prophets what is right for us. But it really comes down to following the truth we feel and know in our hearts and in our minds.