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So I first started this blog here four years ago with the intent to share my experiences and thoughts on my life as a lesbian mormon. I believe the most important thing I continue to learn is just how much I am loved. By facing fear and being true to myself the more I am able to continue taking steps to reach my full potential.

So a few years ago I made this video that really shared where I was in my journey with myself and the gospel in relation to my sexuality. It shares some important parts of my journey that have truly helped me find stepping stones to a much healthier outlook on myself and life in general.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMH_OT-VW0s]

Then 2013 and Now 2017

When I filmed this video I was still working on loving myself and trusting Heavenly Father. I still had tons of unanswered questions and I was having a very hard time finding any peace in myself and with God. During this time I felt that every day was a fight for my life, and it was hard for me to see just how much I could turn to and find the light around me.

It was hard to not give up. I had to learn how to focus on who I truly am and how much I could choose for myself. At this point, I had a hard time with some of the ways our journeys in life were taught as an absolute path back to Heavenly Father. I was learning just how individual our paths and our connections to Him are.

It has taken time to truly understand that my relationship with God and the ability to be a good person are directly in my hands. I still have unanswered questions, and I honestly don’t plan on getting answers anytime soon. I have been learning and finding peace, even without answers. It has been through faith and trust that I find peace, and typically it comes in ways I never expect.

I honestly can say that throughout my journey I am always learning and growing. For the first time in my life I am feeling joy, and I am feeling it deeply. I am feeling free and safe to not only be myself but to keep being my true self which as Anthropology focuses on encompasses much more than my sexuality.

Being true to myself includes so many things like my spirituality and beliefs, which are deep and central to who I am and what motivates my actions. Who I am also includes my purpose and mission, my family and my friendships, growing up in a farming community, my desire to learn and grow while seeking understanding of the world around me through others experiences, cultures, and perspectives (essentially Anthropology).

All in all, I am glad I am finding resolution and peace. I am thankful for the many experiences and things I have learned to get to where I am now. It has not been easy but I am continually reminded that I want to learn and grow. Sometimes that means facing and going through hard things. This experience has taught me so much about the importance of love and compassion, which means giving and sharing love and kindness to others.

Christ is our perfect example of love and kindness. The love He has for us is limitless, and the worth of every soul is great in the sight of God. I am thankful for the christlike love that continues to be given to me, and I hope that I can continue to turn around and share that love with others. I am thankful for all of this experience and I am excited for the bright future ahead of me.